These fit her to a T and the newest is right on point!

by 

Angela T. Nicholson

When it’s all going wrong for the narc, they can experience a narcissistic collapse. And there are certain stages that they take to get to that point.

They will first experience a series of narcissistic injuries that lead to narcissistic rage. They need to be praised and admired for the things that they pride themselves on. So, they might need to be the smartest, the most beautiful, have the most money. And if it is a covert narc, they need to be the best victim or martyr. So they need everybody feeling sorry for them.

They need the constant attention of being the victim or they are martyring themselves. ‘I’ve sacrificed everything for my family.’

When you hold them accountable, when you say no to them, when you put down a boundary and sometimes things that you didn’t say that they wanted you to say, these can all lead to narcissistic injuries. And when they are in a narcissistic rage over the injuries, they will do these punishing behaviors, like the silent treatment, like stonewalling you, gaslighting you, getting very angry.

They’re basically trying to re-calibrate and patch holes in their overinflated egos so that they can continue to live in their fantasy delusional world where they’re perfect and they never do anything wrong or everyone’s always attacking them.

So essentially, any kind of criticism, rejection, failure, feeling mediocre, feeling pathetic, feeling unimportant. If they cannot stabilize themselves from these narcissistic injuries, you move on to phase two, which is narcissistic mortification.

Narcissistic mortification is not just, ‘I got my ego hurt.’ It’s sudden overwhelming feelings of: I’ve been exposed. I am inadequate. It is intense shame and humiliation that makes them feel like they want to disappear or like they’re nothing.

In this phase, you’re going to get a doubling down of their grandiosity. I’m superior. Everybody else is wrong. You’re going to get rage. You’re going to get disassociation. They’re going to try to numb themselves through drinking or drugs or whatever their addiction is.

There’s going to be a complete pull away or withdrawal, whether that’s them cheating on you or ghosting you. If none of that works—if it’s still all going wrong for them—they will then experience a narcissistic collapse.

This is a deep and spiraling depression. Their identities are completely lost. Their sense of self is collapsing in on itself. They’ve essentially lost the ability to sustain a stable self-image.

A narcissistic collapse can happen multiple times throughout their life, but ultimately NPD is not curable, and they will feel sorry for themselves for a while, pick themselves back up, form a new identity, which you will see outwardly like—they’ll move away suddenly, they’ll close down all their social media, they’ll dye their hair pink, they’ll have a completely different look, and they will then try to target new victims—groups of friends, romantic relationships, etc.

A Few Quora Reads You Might Like:

10 Lies All Narcissists Tell.

This Is How Narcissists Spy On You.

Are narcissists evil people or victims of their own mental illness?

I see them as broken, not evil. It's a disorder, not a choice. Their actions may seem evil, but they don't choose to be that way. That's why they all do pretty much the same thing and have the same M.O (hence there's signs or red flags that fits them all), their brains operate in a different way, that doesn't allow them to be empathic and considerate. I think of narcissism and sociopathy as curses—everyone has their demons, and those are amongst the worst.

Having said that, they are extremely dangerous, and definitely worth avoiding as much as possible. They may not choose to be narcissists, but their actions destroy lives, and I take nothing away from that. I'm just saying, they're not inherently evil—just broken people who can't really be fixed (because of their ego and intrinsic lack of accountability).

Quora

and from the same source

When narcissists can't handle someone, it means they do not have control over the person. With a loss of control over the person, narcissists will become more aggressive, arrogant, and abusive in approach. Narcissists will start devaluing the person by ignoring, neglecting, being sarcastic, or insulting. Narcissists can also use a passive-aggressive approach to hurt the person.

Narcissists can use tactics of stonewalling or silent treatment to gain control and dominance over the person. Narcissists desperately need control over the person to feel satisfied and to boost their ego, so narcissists are not going to back down unless they make a person pay.

In some cases, narcissists will push the person away to keep their distance from them, or they will discard the person and focus on someone else. Narcissists will keep people they can control and leave people who are hard to control or handle.